First of all, Hillary Clinton should just give everyone the double finger and say "I'm outa here, F you all". Bill was in my town this morning and I could here him from my front yard. I loved it when he was president. I love that Hillary tried and I HATE how the Democratic Party has railroaded her. It's sad to see the Clinton hate. Barack Obama is a smart guy, but naive as hell. I'm writing in Al Gore.

Last night, it was ... yahoo!!! Real Housewives of NYC!!! God this show is the best of the worst. Duh-mona actually got a little sympathy from me. She explained how her mom stayed in a bad marriage because she couldn't support 4 kids on her own. Well, ok .. but puhlease! If your marriage is THAT bad, you do what you have to do. She could have gotten a job, any job. I don't know ... Ramona sucks. Her husband seems really cool. How he puts up with her is beyond me. Good thing he's in the religious jewelry business, because he's a saint!

We saw the Countess's fat husband! The Count ... LuAnn seems to think that it's a good thing to have her son learn how to breakdance ... like that's what kids are doing today. Really? No kidding? No way ... it was funny watching this Count's white boy trying to be a street punk. I can just see him getting his butt kicked. Listen sonny boy, stick to show jumping and playing your cello. Your mom is a dolt.

Eeeeuuuuu .... the Van Kempen/Mcords. Ms. Fang and her codependent twin is just gross. He rented a boat for a surprise birthday and he invited friends to only have cocktails, THEN THEY HAD TO LEAVE THE BOAT!! So those two could suck face, which about made me vomit. But, they had to lecture Bethanthecity about her drinking first, it was creepy as heck. Poor Bethandthecity, the woman with a square head who had old eggs. That friend of hers in Maimi is a beyotch, the nerve! But then again, Bethandthecity is pathetic. She made choices and now she's regretting those choices .. she wants a bayyyyyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeee .... whine whine whine. Geez lady friend, go buy some sperm and a turkey baster, you're a cook, you figure it out. She'd be the worst pregnant person ever, much less mother. I don't know what the heck she's thinking. Neither does she. That donnie dorko boyfriend of hers is sickening. They deserve each other.

Jill .. yenta Jill. Her daughter is fat again, surprise surprise surprise. She would probably be the most fun to hang out with because she'll talk your ear off and I'd be in stitches listening to her kvetch and tell me what to do with my life.

Again, I'd love to have access to their money, but not their lifestyles. LuAnn's townhouse looks like a dollhouse, it's so cramped. Bethandthecity's place is the size of my powder room. Now Duh-mona and Jill's places look really cool. Alex and Simon live in Brooklyn, nuff said.

Next week looks delicious! Duh-mona's claws are going to come out in full effect!! Can't wait!!!