Friday, March 26, 2010

RHWNYC ... High Society and Sons of Tucson

Woo! I was exhausted after watching that episode!

Duhmona is hands down one bat crap crazy beyotch! Here's Duhmona: "oh, oim not gettin' involved", "so did you have your breasts re-done Kelly?", "hey, LuAnn, you're a liah! Oim just sayin, Pinot Grigo! He-ah, now!" Oh LuAnn, let me kiss your hand, she's just out of her freaking mind!

Jill ... poor Jill ... pathetic yenta Jill. That popeye sounding mom of hers is a real piece of work! Jill's sister is so nice. She seems very LEVELHEADED!!! Oh Glahh-ria, EQUAL, EVERYONE EQUAL!!! And did you see how she went all agony aunt on LuAnn ... ding ding ding ... she's the new Bethandthecity for Glahhh-ria! Oh, don't worry de-ah, you'll come out a much betta parson on the otha soid. OY!!!! And did any of you get an acid flashback when Jill said that "mommy isn't happy?" Yenta Jill said that same dang thing when Bawbee failed to get a Mercedes SUV for her with an MP3 jack???

And KellyHIEEEEEE!!! Did you see her in all her HIEEEEEE glory at that Perez Hilton thing? And what a freak that mofo is!!!! The guy is a freaking BLOGGER!!!! A gossip blogger!!! And he's treated like a celebrity! And I could have sworn that KellyHIEEEEEE said she was going to meet Paris Hilton, not Perez Hilton. Do you think that Duhmona would have been so quick to put poor Avery in a cab ALL BY HERSELF if she knew she was going to meet Perez Hilton???? Poor Avery. She's such a pretty girl too ... the look she gave Duhmona from the cab was so sad :( And I'll give props to KellyHIEEEEE for actually thinking that Duhmona was a jerk for doing that to her daughter.

And that Saks party. Duhmona was absoutely spot on ... Jill's dress looked like her apartment!!!! I about fell off the couch when she said that.

LuAnn is a snake. She's stooping down to a level that she was never on while she was in hermarriageof16years. SnaggletoothAlex had every reason to be hacked at Yenta Jill and then catching her and IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT in a lie! Oh man, the reunion show is going to rock!

Don't know if any of you are watching High Society, but I thought it was HYSTERICAL that there's Duhmona and Bethandthecity (and if I have to see her schilling for that dumb margarita every frickin' show ... ) sat at the BAR at Phillippe? The BAR!!!! Here's the difference between the classes of these wannabes. Tinsley Mortimer ... she gets the chef's table for a freaking BLIND DATE! Take that wannabe socialites! You've got a long long way to go!

Speaking of High Society ... ok, so please tell me what the point of this show is again? I get Tinsley's point .. she's schilling her handbags .. ok, not that I like it, but I get it. Jules Kirby is hands down one of the most evil children I've ever seen. Period . JPC ... what a mess that boy is. He has the mental capacity of a flea and he thinks he's hot? He's a skinny little runt. That personal trainer is using him for publicity ... can't blame him either! Opportunity knocks! Can't wait to see his skinny little rear end get the boot! He's going to cry like the little baby that he is! And then we meet this new person .... Devorah Rose? Wow, she's one homely thing. Not ugly, just homely, which is worse. At least Jules has good looks, well, kind of good looks. Even Tinsley's mom is a child ... please, Tinsley's mom, get over it, Tinsley is out of the Topper family!!! She doesn't want back in! She's dating some dude from American Idol now ... bet that drives mama nuts!!! At least Cazzie is gone ... yeesh, what a creep!

Started watching Sons of Tucson ... has the scraggly funny guy from Reaper ... Sock. It's funny ... well, Sock is funny. These 3 kids hire Sock to pose as their dad, or guardian, or whatever while their real dad is in the can. The kids are strange ... not very funny, but Sock is funny, so I'll keep watching since I'm still in deep denial that Reaper was cancelled.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

High Society ...

So I make it a sport to mock the Real Housewives of New York City. Yep, that I do! But I started watching a new reality show that TAKES THE FREAKING CAKE, MAN! It's called High Society and this show makes those commoners over on Bravo look like mature human beings!

Why do I watch ... well, I've always been fascinated by those of the monied class in NYC ... so sue me. If I could go back in time, I'd be a rich girl in NYC between 1920 and September 1929. I watch Gossip Girl too. It's just hard to imagine having the opportunity to live that way and I'd like to think that I'd be a lot more classy about it than the Housewives, but really, Tinsley Mortimer's show takes it all!

Poor Tinsley Mortimer .. born into Manhattan wealth (in Virginia!)... marries young, marries a rich guy (now divorced) who's relation ran Standard Oil ... not a Rockefeller though. She's in her 30's and whines and moans and dresses like she's 16 years old. This girl needs a GROW THE FREAK UP pill. But then she has this delusional mother, wow, she's a piece of work! She's one of those mothers that people make that scary face behind her back and then say "but she means well". Scary woman. She wants nothing more than to for Topper (!!!!!!) and Tinsley to get back together (according to her, Topper is an American prince ... ha!). But the best reason according to her is "they have the same initials!" For every sarcastic remark I've ever made about my mom .. I'm glad she's my mom ... Dabney Mercer is a loonie. Tinsley apparently graduated from Columbia with a History degree ... would love to talk shop with her sometime. Wonder what history she knows ... "oh, like I know the history of like Park Avenue" ... hmmmmmm. Oh look, poor Tinsley is so heartbroken because her husband didn't like her parading around NYC getting photographed. No, Tinsley, I'm sure there was more to it than that ... could it be those horrible friends you hang around with?

Jules Kirby. Talk about a girl in sore need of a good butt kicking ... her parents should be ashamed at the horrible trashy and ugly person that they managed to create. She's racist, downright mean .. maybe she has a mental disorder ... no, I won't make excuses. She's just a horrible person.

Then there's this over the top guy who is a doppelganger of Jules, some weirdo ... JP .. PJ ... Calderon????... they are mirror images of each other. He's mean too, he's also been caught stealing ... asks his mom for $50K out of his trust fund so he can get an apartment. She indulges him by giving him $25K and he immediately orders a hotel staffer to "draw me a bubble bath" and, I'm sure, blew through that money in one night. OH, but the best is that he claims that all he wants is a husband and a family! Oh Ma Gawd! He thinks people like him and want to photograph him, but what the press wants is to catch him looking like the foolish twit that he is and he DELIVERS!!!!

And then there's Tinsley's equally immature sister ... she has to take a break from helping Tinsley unpack (and did I mention that Tinsley unpacks wearing 6 inch heals because she just CAN'T DO FLAT SHOES!) so she can do her nails!

bottom line ... this show is a complete train wreck. OH, and I forgot to mention that Tinsley is in Looooooooooove with this German "prince" ... she acts like a 14 year old girl with a school crush. This guy, Casimir ... Cazzie as she calls him, is a meanie too. Total control freak, throws a temper tantrum because the camera wasn't getting him from the right angle and that they were going off script (ooops!!!!). And then there's meddling mama going to some library to look up information (she can read!) and finds some book and gets terse like she's found some major skeleton. No, she probably found a book on German history and got to the WWII section and immediately thinks Cazzie's Dad was Adolph Hitler.

Seriously ... this show ... wow ... I don't watch Jersey Shore, but I think this show may be the rich version of Jersey Shore. But you know what they say:


Friday, March 19, 2010

Real Housewives!!!!!

OMG ... what an episode: I think I'll do my synopsis in the first person(s)

LikeKellyHIEEEEEEE: Ok, like yea, so Bethenny was asked to post nake for PETA, so what? Like, I got like, Playboyyyyyyy!!!! Yea, I'm a member of PETA, and like, so what ... I like meat and I like wear fur ... so, like, what? And like, my like, agent ... yea, so? I'm in Playboy and I'm like 41!!!! Like like like like like.

oy! Her children are more articulate than her!

Yenta Jill: So, Bawbeeee is can-sa free! Wahhhhhhhhhh! Yea, we'll go celebrate! But let me reach over Bawbee so I can love on moy dawg because I just love her so much! My dawg will nevah leave me! wahhhhhhhhhhh! And that Bethenny ... yea, I'm going to save that voicemail FOREVAH! How dare she! She cashed out of the friendship bank, Oh LuAnnnnnnnnn! Can I introduce you to my mutha? Ohhhhh Bethenny, oi just can't get into this right now, YOU TOLD ME TO GET A HOBBEEEEEE!!! LuAnn, save me! Protect me! Kelly, get me outa he-a.

Bethandthecity: Ok, so like I'm going to completely act like a white trash inarticulate Joisey goil in front of all of you and curse like a longshoreman and have some cutesy one liners that I am now apparently famous for .. oh! how can I keep up ... mother****, go **** your boyfriend instead of going to the diner ... oh just proportion out the turkey and have a gay man's tv dinner ... oh wait, I really hope you're gay ... oh ****. Hey Jason, here's my immitation of your annoying Joisey boy friend .. weaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh wewaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... what Jason, it's FUNNY! weaaaaaaaaaah weeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhh ... that's what he sounds like!!!! C'mon!!! It's funny! I'm funny!!!!!! And how many of these ********** strapless dresses am I going to wear and constantly adjust in public ... see my b00bies!!!!

Poor Jason

IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT: Ok, this season I'm going to say "honey" instead of "darling" ... and I just have to restrain myself from breaking out into joyful cheering because MY DAUGHTER'S TEENAGE FRIENDS THINK I'M HOT!!!! Yep, take that Alex and your ethiopian princess!!!! TEENAGE BOYS THINK I'M HOT!!!! Oh, and IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT, you WILL kiss me on both cheeks! And nope Bethenny, I am now Jill's underdog project, be gone!

Duhmona and SuperMario: Yea LuAnn, you call me crazy eyes without an apology ... heck to the no is Mario going to apologize for something you evesdropped on! Shut up Jill ... you're so negative and you're bringing me down.

And as for Planet Silex .... Alex has every right to be hacked for how IAMASTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT and Yenta Jill are fawning over LikeKellyHIEEEEEE's playboy shoot ... what a couple of hypcrites! And what a couple of manipulators! They are using Alex as a conduit to Duhmona ... and IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT ... what a white trash uncultured dimwit ... 'WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON HERE!" Wow ... just wow!!! And message to both of them ... YOU'RE CHILDREN ARE SPOILED ROTTEN! If you can't have a conversation without every other minute saying "not now" ... stop saying it. The reason they are doing that rude crap is because YOU ARE INDULGING THEM BY CONSTANTLY ANSWERING THEM. They're not bad parents, just over indulgent parents. Their "it's them, not us" attitudes are still annoying, but this season, they are proving to be the calm in this season's storm.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

2 surprisingly good films

After having a "meh" experience with The Reader, I mananged to prove once again, that it's not the films that win awards or do well at the BO that are true quality pictures.

Ok, I'm biased, I love most .. not all Michael Winterbottom films. Just couldn't figure out that silly Tristram Shandy movie ... if anyone cares to explain it to me, I promise not to appear completely stupid. Wonderland was alright, but then he makes masterpieces like Road to Guantanamo, Welcome to Sarajevo, Mighty Heart and In This World. But he'll always have a fan in me for 24 Hour Party People ... yeeee ha!!!! I Haven't seen all of his films ... The Claim is still on my playlist ... because for some reason, American movie channels just don't play his films often.

Watched his 2003 film, Code 46. Incredible. It's a modern, futuristic Oedipal Complex film ... It's hard to follow and I ended up having to read a synopsis to have my "a ha!" moment, thank you Wikipedia. It's a futuristic authoritarian society where people are told where to live, when and if they can travel and who they can have sex with ... it's bleak to say the least. The issue I had is that the film is so short. This would explain why it was so hard to follow because everything was rushed, nothing was explained and the dialogue was hard to hear. The soundtrack, as with all Winterbottom films was wonderful. And Winterbottom just films well ... everything flows cinematically. The big problem was editing ... it was edited to death. The film's main characters were played by Tim Robbins and the ever waifish Samantha Morton, who plays damsels in distress like no other. The problem there is that Robbins is like 8 feet tall and Morton is about 4 feet tall, so their love scenes were clunky. Wish they could have made the film a full 2 hours, it would have been better.

Years ago, I watched American History X with Ed Norton as the main skinhead ... great film, btw. But I think I may have found a better one called The Believer, only this time Ryan Gosling, who has to be the strangest actor on the planet. He does mainstream stuff and then he does downright WEIRD movies like Lars and the Real Girl ... what's up with that?? And then does crap like The Nooooooooooooooooootebooooooooooooooooooook ... blech blech blech and kicks butt in The United States of Leland ... tried watching The Slaughter Rule and Stay, but found them boring and kept falling asleep. Maybe I'll try again. Anyway, The Believer is based on a true story ... don't think X was. Gosling is much scarier than Norton was. Would love to see them work together sometime. Gosling is a jew who hates jews and you find out why he has such hatred for them as the film goes on ... justified? Well, it's up to the viewer. I can understand why, but I don't agree and maybe that was the point. Good film.

Watched The Middle last night too ... ugh ... would somebody PLEASE tell these dumb writers that if they want to portray Indiana ... please get it right ... Warsaw is not in southern Indiana you idiots!!! And yea right ... the Dad drove Sue up to Gary to sell cheese and sausage .... for god's sake. What a load of crap.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

RHWNYC and The Reader

Watched last week's epi last night ...

IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT is an old twit. You know, what's funny is that SHE is the one who wanted this show ... she's the one who recruited people and look at her ... this show has blown up in that face of hers! I will say though, her kids are beautiful and I hope they are doing fine ... no, they are ... their lives are still jet setting, only this time popeye the sailor voice isn't with them. So she lost that dollhouse in manhattan eh and rosie along with it. Don't know ... Rosie seems a lot happier without having to deal with IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT, but she has enough CLASS not to rub it in her face because Rosie is a good person. And Victoria and NOLE, not No-el, couldn't have given a rat's rear end to hang with Rosie.

Bethandthecity ... poor Jason ... here's a tidbit:
Bethenny's Famewhore Wedding Being Filmed!
And geez ... now we get to see her cutsie little catchphrases WITH TEARS! Oy vey! Again, poor Jason.

Yenta Jill, really not much to say other than she needs to get over it. She and IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT make a good pair.

Leatherface ... ok, so when she graced LuAnn's party with this hush hush big secret ... I thought it was going to be something really major .. she's engaged, she eloped ... she's pregnant ... I mean, Playboy .. whoop-dee - doo! She's acting like this is a big hairy deal, like it's Farrah Fawcett over 40 part II .. please! I love how Bawbee put it into perspective ... yea Leatherface, people like Bawbee, old Bawbee, married old Bawbee are going to be looking at your leathery shortcomings ... and how stupid is she that oops! She didn't think of that part! And judging from the previews for next week, her kids could care less! What a self centered overblown ego that one has! Blech!

Ok, so Alex is growing on me now ... she's the most level headed of the group ... it took 3 seasons, but I have to say, when I see Alex and Simon now, it's actually a breath of fresh air.

Duhmona and Supermario ... Mario should just apologize already and be done. and Duhmona is right ... IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT is just as guilty of calling duhmona names. I think IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT is bitter because seriously, Duhmon and Supermario have a good marriage. I bet those 2 have been solid their entire marriage. It sounds like the DuhLesseps had a crappy 16 year marriage with loads of infidelities.

Watched The Reader, the movie that they newly separated Kate Winslet (marriage #2 down the pooper .... is she 30 yet?) won the Oscar. Much deserved compared to Sandra Bullock getting it for The Blind Side ... please! I kinda liked the film. Just kinda. The story was intriguing. She was a guard during WWII and was brought to trial for a fire that killed hundreds of Jewish women. She was railroaded into taking the wrap for the entire thing. I guess for me, I just didn't understand why she would target a teenage boy for a relationship. That, I just didn't understand, so that's why I just kinda liked it. Her performance was great and the best scene was when Ralph Fiennes completely lost it toward the end of the film (he played the grown up version of the teenage boy). In terms of holocaust movies, this one wasn't that great.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Real Housewives NYC is back baby!!! And movies ... and Olympics ..

Oh my god! It's back!!!!

ok ok .. gotta dust off my nicknames:

Duhmona ... wow, what a piece of work. I mean, it's nice that she'll defend mario to the death, but she made it all about her. She should have first of all told IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT, that while she understands how upsetting what mario said was, that she wanted to focus on having fun with friends and that they can clear the air in private off the boat. She's such a little child. But it's interesting, I think she has always been a child because of this supposed horribly abusive father she had ... I thought she always focused on how horrible her mother was, now it's daddy's turn now that he's dead (CLASSSSSSAYYYYYY). So anyway, it's obvious that Duhmona has never progressed beyond her childhood and now that howible mommy and daddy are no longer awound, she can finally GROW THE EFF UP ... poor Avery.

IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT ... little miss (truly MISS now!) just can't keep up. She's been locked away in her purchased title for all these years and now she's trying to get out in the world amongst the proletariat. If I have to hear the preview of her catterwalling one more time, I may have to puke. She sounds worse than that blond dimwit from Atlanta! Hey, there's a thought, they could do an album together and they can play it as a replacement for torturing terrorist suspects!

Bethandthecity ... awww, she's in LOOOOVE!!!! Oh but that supposed clever wit of hers, man, how can Jason (wasn't that the name of the bald guy from season 1?) take it? And enough of the skinny girl advertising! Seriously! She cannot be making any money because every cent has to be turned around and put on some trinket or tchotchke or CAR ... blech. Bethandthecity, with this "fame" has just turned her already mile wide suit of armor of denial even thicker. She's a lost soul on the same emotional wavelength as Duhmona, only Duhmona doesn't push it away.

Alex .. NO SIMON!

Kelly ... awwww poor Kelly. Yea right. She's still a halfwitted narcissistic dork. And don't you love how IAMACOUNTESSDAMMIT just doesn't want to hear or relate to anyone who has been through a divorce ... MYMARRIAGEOF16YEARS darling ... phooey! Ok Countess, keep playing that card and it's going to flip right back into your face and it's gonna hurt!

And finally ... yenta Jill. You know, she has the best husband on the show and she cannot even appreciate it. She loves sticking her nose into other people's misery to make herself feel better. She can't do that with Bawbby because he's a self sufficient man who is very cool. And now that Bethandthecity has found some happiness, she doesn't need to be bubby'd to death ... Bethandthecity isn't crying anymore over the void and she doesn't need a yenta to feed her soup and pat her head and say "it's gonna be ok" and unfortunately, Yenta Jill doesn't know how to be a friend who just listens and supports and has fun, she must meddle to make herself feel useful. Now, Bethandthecity telling her that she needs a hobby ... kinda not cool ... but in essence is right on. And yenta jill is now going to go superyenta and throw that into her face and in every conversation she can, which is really stupid. Hey jill ... Bethandthecity has moved on ... accept and support her or let her go!!!! I think that Jill needs major therapy to deal with her abandonment issues.

Watched some Stephen Rea movies, ones where he doesn't have the Irish accent. The first was a tv movie, Citizen X, based on the capture of the Ukrainian serial killer, Andrei Chikatilo. Since it was a tv movie, the blood and gore were minimal. The story was better than the acting. It's an incredible story that has as much to do with the BS that was the USSR as much as it did with the actual serial killings. You can surmise that the regime actually kept that whacko on the streets for as long as he was killing. The killings started in 1978 and continued until 1990. Ironic how he was finally apprehended so soon after the USSR collapsed. Anyway, Rea and Donald Sutherland's russian accents are pretty bad, but I guess given the storyline, I'll be ok because it really is a great movie.

The other Stephen Rea movie is called Stuck. I read the synopsis on the channel guide and it said a man gets stuck in a windshield ... hmm, ok ... how seriously should I take that? But it's true! Rea plays this homeless guy who gets run over by Mena Suvari's character and he is literally stuck in her windshield for a good portion of the movie. Now, I'm not terribly queasy, but this film was way over the top on the blood, gore, bones sticking out ... pulling windshield wipers out of yer guts action ... so gross! So I watched it and .. ok, it was good and then I find out it was based on a true story. Yes, it says so in the beginning, but so does Fargo. But this incident apparently did happen in Dallas a few years ago. Rea has this rather strange American accent. Again, not good, but the movie is still good.

Olympics are over .... I have to say, gotta give it up to the Canadian hockey teams. Thumbs up Canucks! The closing ceremonies were freaking weird! It looks like it was thrown together after having too many Molsons and bagels. One of the most hyped new post olympics shows was Parenthood ... STUNK! Couldn't even get through 15 minutes of it. Blech. Had high hopes for it too because I tend to like Peter krause and Lauren Graham. They even have the little kid from Daddy Daycare who ruins eddie murphy's bathroom ... growing up, but still the same face and hair. When Peter Krause's character left his house and started jogging ... I groaned ... gee, that's right out of Six Feet Under! Dumb dumb dumb ... dumb.