Saturday, October 31, 2009

1000 Ways to Die

Wow, wow, wow ... this show is indescribeable ... seriously. It's completely gross and I love it! I first heard about it while flipping around and landed on some The Soup type show, can't remember which one and they were describing what the show was about. It's exactly as the title suggests, it's about people dying in strange ways. I tivo'd one episode and boom, I was done, season passed that sucker! Being a Tarantino fan, this show is completely up my alley ... that doesn't sound good does it. Well, anyway, you can't help but to laugh because they have this narrator who sounds really really serious and then you have actors reinacting the death. There's one about a supermodel who eats herself to death ... yea, they show what happened ... some guy gets high on shrooms and ends up getting killed because he tried to have his way with a bear. Some guys throws a javelin and ends up running into it with his eye .... his EYE!!! They have doctors get into the medical reasoning about how they died. Seriously, it's a perfect show! Did I just type that? Since I season passed it, I have a ton of them to catch up on ...

Nip/Tuck is getting kind of meh. I don't like Rose McGowan as Teddy ... I'm just not a fan of her. Seriously, chicky chick ... the goth thing is over ... yawn! I like Gossip Girl better than I like Nip/Tuck at this point. And THAT is a sad thing to write.

Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Too much reality!

So this stupid stupid stupid show on Style Network called Dallas Divas and Daughters is just AWFUL!! And from what I'm reading elsewhere, the true socialites in Dallas have no clue who these women are! I know nothing of Dallas, never been there ... really no reason to go there. But when I think of Dallas, I think of Jessica Simpson types and none of these women and these things they call daughters are anything like that. There's this one woman who has an unnaturally lipsticked mouth of a carp whose hair looks like it's laquered to her head a mile high ... I cannot begin to think what that thing looks like in the morning! And her daughter just doesn't understand why her mom attracts losers .... poor kid. Then there's a woman who claims to be an aristocrat, who, in reality, it seems is a new monied former loose teenager who is raising a daughter who is clamped down on so hard that this poor thing is going to run off to college and get into some major trouble when mommy isn't around. Who the heck gives hickeys anymore??? Yuck. Then there's this leather faced plump amazon who has been labeled a wannabe ... yea, that's how I'd want to be labeled on a reality show! She's awful!!!! She and the so called aristocrat go at each other and to be honest, it looks incredibly fake. And then there are these bratty daughters ... ugh!! Can't blame them though ... their mothers sowed the seeds of these brats.

I'm starting to watch The Property Shop of HGTV. It's one of those real estate agent shows. The main agent is this poodle haired, but really cool lady from Montreal named Tatiana Londano ... she's fun, the city is beautiful. It's good fun.

The new season of Whatever Martha started a few weeks ago. This season, they must have told Alexis to focus more on her childhood with Martha. Jennifer is superfunny this season. She has the best laugh on television. Alexis doesn't seem as hateful as she has been in the past. Maybe all this catharthsis on the show is mellowing her out.

Californication is awesome this season. Hank is now teachind writing at the university ... yea yea yea ... he's typical Hank. But this season seems to be really focusing on the comedy. Hank is like a kid in a candy store. Runkle is trying to get back together with Marcy and Kathleen Turner is Runkle's new boss... sigh ... time hasn't been kind to her. I understand she's had a lot of health problems and it looks like she's on steroids because she's really puffy and that voice is really bad now. She's not the same Kathleen Turner from Body Heat. She's still funny as heck though ... foul mouthed sexpot is what she is now.

Finished watching Jules et Jim and ugh!!!! Such a piece of arthouse crap. The woman who Jules et Jim were in love with was a horrible horrible woman ... I don't get it at all. Why would anyone want anything to do with that stupid woman, much less get into a car alone with her? Jules et Jim were dumb ... near as I can tell, the only thing this movie had to offer were interesting camera shots, but other than that ... it was oh so european and oh so stupide!!!

Margot at the Wedding ... what do you get when you mix Nicole Kidman as a bitter old NY writer with a son with hair as long as hers, Jennifer Jason Leigh playing her typical Jennifer jason Leigh character ... someone who is so incredibly messed up that you just say ... yep, that's Jennifer Jason Leigh ... and .... and ... JACK BLACK ... yes, jack black trying his gosh darned hardest to be a dramatic lead ... freaking A ... I'll tell you what you get ... A STUPID MOVIE!!! I'm glad it was less than 2 hours long.

Mad Men ... chugging along ... I think there are 3 episodes left.

Curb your Enthusiasm. My god, Larry David has no shame. He dates a woman in a wheelchair .. and yes, he tried to get romantic with her ... yes, they showed it.

My pleasant surprise has been Bored to Death. It's gotten better and better as we go along. I really like the bushy beard guy ...G-finkis guy from the Hangover. jason Schwartzman is such a goofball that he's worth watching, but Ted Danson .... what is it with this guy ... he goes silver and all of a sudden, he plays these scumbags to a T. It's amazing!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Househusbands Reunion Show ... LAME!!!!!

that was LAME!!!!! That host was the worst! Scumbag Chahlie looked like he didn't want to be there at all. All they talked about was the fighting ... which got really old and I'm sick of Shortfuse Grant and Barberidoll ... OK GUYS, WE KNOW YOU HAVE SEX, yippee skippy for you!!!!!! It was so freaking lame.No Billy ... no Billy ... get that beard back ... he didn't look right clean shaven.Hayhair is terrible! I actually felt sorry for Dannyboy ... the day he STOPS making excuses for her crappy attitude toward him, is the day they will get a divorce. She loves having a servant with benefits in the house and it's really sad that Danny doesn't get it. Yep, no baby yet ... ha!Tempestt and Daryl are so cute. Tempestt didn't seem like she was keen on the show either ... I also heard that Fox Reality is going away. Not sure if I want to see those guys another season ... been done.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Househusbands season finale ... meh!

What a cheesy finale ... boooooo!!!!

Scumbag Charlie ... oooooo ... confessing to the in laws ... big effing deal dude!!! I really wonder what it was that he did. He acts like he was a sidekick to Sammy the Bull or something. I have a picture in my head of H.I. McDonough from Raising Arizona. Again, I think he watched Reservoir Dogs a few too many times and thinks he's Mr. Yellow, the guy that got cut out of the film.

Shortfuse Grant came off as a giant dbag this episode .. enough of the "bro", "dude", talking like a poor man's Jeff Spicoli .. duuuuuuuude!!!! That webisode idea is LAME!!!! And those women are pathetic hanging all over Grant like that ... gross. And how funny is it that Barberi-doll doesn't know how to change a freaking diaper!!! Seriously!!!!

And are you kidding me??? Who the freak tells people "hey everyone, we are going to try to get pregnant!" Those two are like high school kids tee heeing about the birds and the bees. What a couple of losers. Do they not realize that they are setting themselves up for a monthly phone call to see if she's late??? I pray for Danny's sake that she get preggers PRONTO!!! If he thinks the whining about not having kids was bad? Oh my .. can you imagine what it's going to be like when she's constantly saying "Dannyyyyyyyyyy, I want to have a baby in my bellyyyyyyyyy, Dannnyyyyyyyy!!!!" I wanted to jump into the tv and pull that stringy hair of hers when he actually rah rah'd herself for wearing Danny down ... yea, I can see her nursing at 2am .. yea right! She'll try to figure a way out to find a drug that will make Danny lactate.

Billy and Daryll are the best. Can't say enough. Billy has the heart of a lion. I think that Billy & Daryll should figure out something to do together in the sports field. He's so much bigger than Daryll, it would be cute!I guess I was expecting more ... sigh.

Will there be an Andy Cohen mozel tov reunion???

Trying to get through the Truffaut film, Jules et Jim ... and I know I'll end up sounding like a complete idiot when I'm done. So far, it's just odd, almost uncomfortable to watch. Is that the same Francois Truffaut that was in Close Encounters???

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Reality Television .. nooooo!!!!

I cannot believe I'm getting sucked into reality tv. And it's not the mainstream stuff either. Here's a list:

Giuliana and Bill: Why do I watch this? I did watch Rancic win the first Apprentice and he's a Chicago guy, so I get to see my beloved city a lot while watching and I did just stumble on in while channel flipping a few weekends ago. Giuliana ... I have to say that on first glance, I wanted to pop her one, but she's actually not half bad. She and Bill make a great couple. It will be interesting to see if or when they ever have kids ... they act like a couple kids right now.

Househusbands of Hollywood: Still watching this one. It rocks though, I say this hanging my head in guilt. The season finale is this weekend. Billy Ashley and Darryl Bell are the only reasons to watch this show. They are beyond sweethearts and at least Darryl Bell's SO, Tempestt Bledsoe, really gets him. Billy's wife, I call her IAM29DAMMIT, appreciates her husband, but she can be a selfish twit too. There's shortfuse Grant, who is married to the ever so dreadful Jillian Barberie ... the nutrisystem "look sharp Golic" chick ... please! Then there's this complete doof named Danny ... call him Dannyboy, who is married to this woman who has abnormally straight blond hair ... looks lile well groomed hay. She's awful! She's an attorney who prefers to keep her husband at home, but she'll never admit it. Dannyboy dropped out of premed, which is just a fancy way of saying he changed his major ... dude ... so he can pursue his dreams of being an actor. So far, all he's done is a gameshow and Shakespeare, which hayhead proceeded to whine about ... I think she just likes having a houseboy.

Watched the first episode of Dallas Divas and Daughters. Whoa, what a bunch of wannabes. Well, there's one seemingly proper Dallas hoity toid, but the others are all rather trashy. Their daughters are spoiled rotten. The hoitytoid daughter seems to be parented somewhat ... don't know how long I'll keep up with this one.

Here's what else is being watched:

Curb Your Enthusiam ... awesome. LD reunited Seinfeld and pretty much proved that reunion shows, as a rule, suck. I liked Seinfeld, but I love Curb.

Bored To Death: This past weeks episode was hysterically funny. It had nothing to do with the stupid PI storyline, they should keep doing episodes like that. Ten Danson is doing everything in his power to kill off Sam Malone with every new role. Must be the silver hair.

Mad Men: YUM! This is the most perfect show on television! Betty is completely nuts and Don doesn't know what the heck to do with her. Pete is back to being Pete and I'm expecting a new spawn of Pete by the end of the season. Peggy slept with Duck ... euwww! I just love this show.

Gossip Girl ... yea, I'm still watching ... but I wear dark sunglasses when I do!

No more Corner Gas :( WGN America didn't renew their contract to show it ... curse you WGN!!!!

Watched 2 foreign films. Moi & Toi is a ... duh .. French film about a magazine writer and her half sister who is a cellist. It's hard to describe, but I really liked it.

Rudo y Cursi stars Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal. It's a comedy about 2 country bumpkins who become professional soccer players and the madness that ensues. It was really funny, very vile, lots of cursing ... loved it. The one thing that bothered me was the in the end, a drug lord wins ... this would never happen in American films. Still liked it very much though. After The Nigh Buffalo ... had to have a different image of Diego Luna.