Friday, March 19, 2010

Real Housewives!!!!!

OMG ... what an episode: I think I'll do my synopsis in the first person(s)

LikeKellyHIEEEEEEE: Ok, like yea, so Bethenny was asked to post nake for PETA, so what? Like, I got like, Playboyyyyyyy!!!! Yea, I'm a member of PETA, and like, so what ... I like meat and I like wear fur ... so, like, what? And like, my like, agent ... yea, so? I'm in Playboy and I'm like 41!!!! Like like like like like.

oy! Her children are more articulate than her!

Yenta Jill: So, Bawbeeee is can-sa free! Wahhhhhhhhhh! Yea, we'll go celebrate! But let me reach over Bawbee so I can love on moy dawg because I just love her so much! My dawg will nevah leave me! wahhhhhhhhhhh! And that Bethenny ... yea, I'm going to save that voicemail FOREVAH! How dare she! She cashed out of the friendship bank, Oh LuAnnnnnnnnn! Can I introduce you to my mutha? Ohhhhh Bethenny, oi just can't get into this right now, YOU TOLD ME TO GET A HOBBEEEEEE!!! LuAnn, save me! Protect me! Kelly, get me outa he-a.

Bethandthecity: Ok, so like I'm going to completely act like a white trash inarticulate Joisey goil in front of all of you and curse like a longshoreman and have some cutesy one liners that I am now apparently famous for .. oh! how can I keep up ... mother****, go **** your boyfriend instead of going to the diner ... oh just proportion out the turkey and have a gay man's tv dinner ... oh wait, I really hope you're gay ... oh ****. Hey Jason, here's my immitation of your annoying Joisey boy friend .. weaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh wewaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... what Jason, it's FUNNY! weaaaaaaaaaah weeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhh ... that's what he sounds like!!!! C'mon!!! It's funny! I'm funny!!!!!! And how many of these ********** strapless dresses am I going to wear and constantly adjust in public ... see my b00bies!!!!

Poor Jason

IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT: Ok, this season I'm going to say "honey" instead of "darling" ... and I just have to restrain myself from breaking out into joyful cheering because MY DAUGHTER'S TEENAGE FRIENDS THINK I'M HOT!!!! Yep, take that Alex and your ethiopian princess!!!! TEENAGE BOYS THINK I'M HOT!!!! Oh, and IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT, you WILL kiss me on both cheeks! And nope Bethenny, I am now Jill's underdog project, be gone!

Duhmona and SuperMario: Yea LuAnn, you call me crazy eyes without an apology ... heck to the no is Mario going to apologize for something you evesdropped on! Shut up Jill ... you're so negative and you're bringing me down.

And as for Planet Silex .... Alex has every right to be hacked for how IAMASTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT and Yenta Jill are fawning over LikeKellyHIEEEEEE's playboy shoot ... what a couple of hypcrites! And what a couple of manipulators! They are using Alex as a conduit to Duhmona ... and IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT ... what a white trash uncultured dimwit ... 'WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON HERE!" Wow ... just wow!!! And message to both of them ... YOU'RE CHILDREN ARE SPOILED ROTTEN! If you can't have a conversation without every other minute saying "not now" ... stop saying it. The reason they are doing that rude crap is because YOU ARE INDULGING THEM BY CONSTANTLY ANSWERING THEM. They're not bad parents, just over indulgent parents. Their "it's them, not us" attitudes are still annoying, but this season, they are proving to be the calm in this season's storm.

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