Friday, April 30, 2010

Hot Mess! Real Housewives!

Wooooooo-eeeeeeee!!!! yea ha!

Yenta Jill ... yea, she's one hot mess!! She's one hot mess of a freaking hypocrite!!! She gets on her high horse telling Bethandthecity to keep HER email private but that stupid freak doesn't think twice about sharing the voicemail that she creepily kept in her voicemailbox with anyone who would listen
?????? And then there she is bubbie-ing Bawbee on tv making him look like a total put#. But he sure loves her. If I treated my dear husband that way ... well, he wouldn't be my husband for long! Bawbee is a saint. And there she is saying that IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT and sexpot sonja that THEY are out Yenta-ing her? Yea, hun ... guess it takes one to know one.

As for Fangface ... and she even admitted it ... she may regret the delivery, but she doesn't regret the message. And Fangface was really projecting her own anger toward Yenta Jill by being Bethandthecity's consigliere.

Sexpot Sonja ... I about spit out my pepsi when I heard her actually mutter the words that she doesn't everything in moderation! That's rich!!!! Here she is bragging about how she's doing the horizontal hootchie with whomever because she doesn't want to dry up ... yea, that's moderation baby! And that mouth! That botoxed upper lip!!! IEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! And what about that toothless homeless person that she uses as a psychic? Sexpot Sonja must not pay her very much because and I thought it was funny that she offered to talk to her surgeon about a b00bie lift ... hey Sonja, pay the psychic to get a new pair of choppers!!!! And a new coat! I have to wonder where she found this stringy haired freak ... and I wonder where she goes after she's done at Sexpot's townhouse ... oh oh oh ... and did anyone else get weepy when she described how much she had to give up in the divorce? are you kidding me? She obviously has enough to pay the toothless stringy haired homeless woman to blow sunshine up that taught rear end of hers!!!!

And back to Yenta Jill ... did I mention what a classless twit she is? IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT nailed her but good! Late, talking while IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT is trying to talk, twittering ... SO &^%$#@! RUDE!!!!

I hope that Yenta Jill is looking over these episodes and getting a clue about what a horrible person that she is.

And I truly felt bad for Jason II ... anyone care to guess who leaked the info to Perez Hilton? I'm surprised they didn't focus on that a bit more ...hmmmmmmmmmmmmm wonder if it was someone at Bravo???

Next week is going to be another hot mess!!!!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Marriage Under Construction

So I've been watching this show. I can't really say why either because Nat and Rod are annoying as snot. And now Nat is pregnant and man is she as haggy as Rod is fat. Seriously, he looks awful and he's not going to make it to their baby daughter's 5th birthday unless he goes on a doctor assisted weight loss program. And Nat is just awful. She's weird AND awful. She nags Rod, whines to Rod and then she's kissy face ... the woman is psycho. I wish them well they seem to genuinely love each other, but man, they have a weird relationship.

The house ... where the heck did they get all this money to gut that place? I mean, they were living in something they called the frat house and all of a sudden, they are gutting this big old house ... hate their master bedroom ....closets are dumb, you can see the bathtub from the bed .. no wall separating the bathroom from the bedroom. And then there's this huge rooftop deck and what does Nat say? She imagines what it will be like to have the baby up there! Oh man, it's obvious that they are first time parents!!!

But let's back up a bit. So they are living in the frat house, Nat whines and whines and whines while Rod gets fatter and fatter and his facial hair changes with every scene. Rod is a big child ... much to the annoyance of Nat, who goes on a shopping binge to punish Rod ... real mature! Ugh! Ok ... so Nat is whining about the frat house, they buy this big old house ... they bully the designer and contractor into making an apartment in the basement where they can live and Nat can stop whining about the frat house, while the renovations are being done. The basement apartment was kick ass too! All new stuff! Again, where are they getting this cash??? So, they are living there for awhile and boom, she's pregnant and since the renos are going the way Nat wants to, she just can't live in that kickass basement anymore and they move back to the frat house!!! No wonder Rod is getting bigger and bigger.

So anyway, the master bedroom is done .. it sucks, but it's done. Oh yea, and have fun hauling that baby up and down those 3 flights of stairs!!! Bwahhhhhhhh!!!!! Nat is going to be such a haggy mom ... poor Rod ... he's going to be 500 pounds by the baby's first birthday.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The World According to Monsanto vs. Food Inc.

Watched over the last week. The Monsanto film made me want to go through our refrigertor and and pantry and throw any that has any corn or soy products in them into the garbage. But I didn't ... what the heck would I eat? It's truly amazing how Monsanto products are EVERYWHERE, IN EVERYTHING in such a short time. Round Up ready soybeans have only been on the market since 1996 and now they control over 90% of the market and 90% of the farmers ... who are watched like hawks and threatened with lawsuits if they don't submit. Just unbelieveable. Food Inc., on the other hand was good, to a point. They had to try to make Wal-Mart look like some great corporate citizen in their efforts to go organic. Give me a break. They still sell Tyson and Smithfield ... 2 big targets of Food Inc .. so they buy yogurt from Stonyfield and we're all supposed to hold hands and say ... awww, Wal-Mart is great? I don't think so! Phooey on Food Inc. You guys had me until Wal-mart.

Monsanto has to be one of the most evil companies on the face of the earth. But we can't get away from any of their products ... sigh.

onto mindless tv.

Party Down started up again ... first episode ... meh .... better get better. Now the show on immediately after is great. It's called Gravity and it's about a support group for suicide survivors. The cast is formidible. Glad to see Ving Rhames back in action! Peter Sheffer too ... where has that guy been? I'll stick with Gravity, but Party Down is hanging by a thread.

Missed RHNYC this week ... ugh! Damn tivo! Will have to watch and write up at some point in the future!

Love that Jon Stewart is going after Bernie Goldberg with a vengeance!

And Kirstie Alley has finally gone scientologist on us! Her handyman, Jim, got sick and Kirstie sweetly nursed him back to health. She's a nice person and seems very real to me. But she explained to Jim "in my religion", one gets sick because something upset them ... wahhhhhhh? Do germs only attack people that are upset by something? Do germs only go after people that have these aliens in them? Oh my ...

Oh yea, watched Religulous ... Bill Maher's film about the hypocrisy and danger of organized religion. Well, yea, he was preaching to the choir, but the one thing I loved ... well, a couple things. I like how he lit up and smoked with a guy in Amsterdam ... but I also love that he lost that smug crap look he gets on his face when he delivers a punchline. It made the movie a lot more tolerable. He refers to religion as a neurological disorder, which I find rather amusing.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

And Then There's High Society

This week's ep of High Society was a ... can't even think of a good word for it.

Apparently, Tinsley Mortimer can't comb her own hair or put on makeup. Damn, I want to live like that! She's the biggest whiner ..... boo hooo ... everyone's so mean to me. What can I do about all the mean things that people say? Wahhhhhh Wahhhhhhh! She's like a 16 year old girl!!! And this homely Devorah Rose is a piece of work. She's her biggest fan, and Jules Kirby got the best line in of the night. Devorah Rose was having this party launching this line of bikinis and *gasp*, Jules Kirby just happened to show up .... what a coincidence, NOT! Words were exchanged and drinks were thrown ... and Jules says that for a man, Devorah looks good in a bikini! I about fell off the couch laughing. Good one Jules! Too bad you're such a deplorable excuse for a human being otherwise. Here's 2 words that Ms. Kirby should learn, Personal Responsibility.

I'll give Dale some credit this week. I love how mama bear she is! She took homely Devorah Rose to the woodshed and reduced her to tears without raising her voice! I loved it!!!! Now THAT'S as suthun' belle as it gets!

And thankfully, there was very little of that gross, self important boob JPC ... he's as disgusting as Jules Kirby in the personality department. And this Tommy girl is a trainwreck. He's very together when he's sober, but turns into a sobbing little sorority girl when he drinks. Maybe they are made for each other.

The most level headed person so far is Tinsley's sister, Dabney. She's the most mature person on the show! More of her!

Weekly Housewives Recap

What an episode!

Duhmona takes the cake this week! That woman is a bigger trainwreck as the weeks go on! OMG, the oyz!! The oyz!!!! But first, the big fat question for Mario! WTH was that about? She was dressed like a call girl ... the shrimp cocktail looked ultra yummy! And then when she finally said that she wanted Mario to think about what she's going to ask ... he had this look on his face like "OMG, she's dressed for some hanky panky ... she wants another baby! Nooooooooo!" And then she lets the lead balloon out of the bag ... renewing marriage vows ... whoop deee doo! What's there to think about Duhmona! Is Mario going to say no? The worst part of that scene was that THEY FREAKING LEFT THE SHRIMP COCKTAIL BEHIND to go get busy in the bedroom ... WHAT A WASTE! And then the Kodak party. Is Duhmona the biggest buzzkill or what? This woman cannot be happy for anyone! If it's not about her, she's going to do everything in her power to take a giant dump on the event. And KellyHIEEEEE was a force to be reckoned with in that arguement. She PWND Duhmona completely!

Yenta Jill. Well folks we saw exactly how wannabe she was in this episode! And we saw it with the introduction of Sonja Morgan. Sonja Tremont Morgan ... this is the trophy wife de tutti trophy wife. This is a woman who used to be receptionist for a hoity toid italian restaurant who managed to get her lunchooks into a descendent of JP Morgan AND John Adams! CHA-CHING!! And I can see why she and IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT are friends ... they both married old fogeys and spawned heirs and divorced ... both came from nothing and married into society ... Yenta Jill, not so much! Yenta Jill has never heard of Sonja Morgan! Boom!!!! If Yenta Jill were truly connected, she'd know who Sonja Morgan is ... and IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT would have introduced her sooner! Hmmmm ... is IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT ashamed of her friendship with Yenta Jill???? Maybe IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT is slumming it with Yenta Jill!

And then Yenta Jill acting all Countessy at Brooklyn Fashion Weekend. How dare she! What a snob! She shouldn't have even shown up! And while Duhmona was wrong for hijacking Yenta Jill's moment in teh spotlight, Yenta Jill's holier than thou behavior in Brooklyn ... taking a Yenta dump on the event that Fangface worked very hard on ... NO CLASS!!!

And hmmmm ... I found it interesting that Bethandthecity keeps pregnancy tests on hand. First of all, they're expensive, I only ever bought them after I was late ... AND WE WERE TRYING TO GET PREGNANT! And did we really need to see the side of her toches? Really??? I'm no prude, but my god people ... do we really need to see the yellow urine on the pee stick? I thought her reaction was sweet. Been there, done that!

Bawbee is such a dork. He really wants to tell his wife to GTFU with this Bethandthecity situation but knows he can't. Too bad ...

And I thought KellyHIEEEE dressing Simon was ADORABLE!!!! Simon has shed his pretentious euro trash image and that makes me happy. And KELLYHIEEE should never ever ever ever ever wear strapless ... or bright yellow .... EVER!!!! Wow, whoever matched her with that outfit should be given 40 lashes with a wet noodle. And did I mention THE OYZ THE OYZ????

Monday, April 12, 2010

Kirstie Alley's Big Life and Personal Che

I've been watching Kirstie Alley's Big Life on A&E. I also watched her Showtime series, Fat Actress. Big Life is better. Fat Actress was funny, but Big Life is more of a true reality show. It's not only about her either. She has some very interesting people who work for her and they are all part of the show. Her personal assistant (who has an assistant) is such a pretty and smart woman ... but she's horribly shy. The assistant's assistant is hilarious and a tad clueless. The best of her menagerie of staffers is her chubby buddy, Jim ... Jim??? He's on his way to a massive heart attack and it's interesting to see the process and how HARD it is to lose weight! It's not about losing weight per se, it's about changing your lifestyle ... that's the hard part. Of course, she's shilling her weight loss program. Fortunately, it's not the focal point of the show. Neither is Scientology! I am constantly amazed by her kids! Wow, they are soooooo normal, it's just unbelieveable. Obviously, she has raised those kids right! Kudos and I hope she can take off the weight.

We have this new channel called the Doc Channel, which is like heaven for me since I'm such a documentary freak. I watched Personal Che. It's about how the legacy of Che Guevara lives on today. The saddest part of the movie was how diluted Guevara and his message have gotten over the decades since his execution in Bolivia. There are actually people who pray to him as a saint ... hello people. Guevara was an atheist. And then when someone told them of Guevara's hatred of religion, the people stood there dumfounded and didn't believe them. There are also people in Cuba who didn't believe he was killed. The filmmakers showed the death photos and the people, again, couldn't believe it. Sigh. And then there was a Salvadoran man in NY who sells Guevara tchochkes, t-shirts, etc, which I'm sure would make guevara nuts if he saw it. The man was walking down the street and was accosted by Cubans who immediately attacked him verbally. Fortunately, there was a Cuban woman who told the men that this is America, he can wear a Guevara shirt if he wants and to leave the man alone. It was a great documentary and I'll have to keep my eyes open to see what else comes on this channel.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Mr. Death

Again, Errol Morris is the best documentary filmmaker alive. I watched his documentary on the completely whacky, but incredibly blunt, Frank Leuchter. He improved the electric chair, which lead to him making an efficient lethal injection machine, which lead him to build a more efficient gallows .... sigh. I'm anti-death penalty, btw, but listening to him rationalize what he does was scary. He's being humane and dignified ... I don't know. But his real claim to fame is that he is a holocaust denier. He went to the death camps and chipped away at the gas chamber walls and had them alazyzed and claims that they were not gas chambers because there wasn't any residue in the concrete walls. First of all, desecration of a historical place ... NOT COOL DUDE! Second of all, really? Well, I guess his just deserts was that his career went into the dumper as a result of his "study". Great documentary.

Sons of Tuscon, over it.

Modern Family ... awesome

The Middle ... still ticks me off, but it really is funny. The Middle is for blue collar families what Modern Family is for white collar families. A good combination, good thing they are on back to back.

Been watching this show on HGTV called Marriage Under Construction. It's based in Toronto. It's about this married couple who buy their first house and renovate the crap out of it. Ok, where are they getting all this money? Seriously, the deck and backyard probably cost as much as my minivan. And their basement probably cost half as much as my house! The couple, Rod and Nat, are an interesting pair. She's pretty acerbic and he's ... hmmmmm ... well, he's a chef ... and I always say, never trust a skinny chef, but Rod really needs to get healthy. But Nat and Rod seem to be very compatible. It's a good show.

Also watching 30 Days on Planet Green. It's a continuation of the guy who did Supersize Me ... can't remember his name ... ugh! Sperlock ... yea, Morgan Spurlock. Each week, he takes people out of their elements for 30 days. A Christian had to live as a Muslim ... there's one where Spurlock and his girlfriend have to live on minimum wage ... should be interesting

Friday, April 9, 2010

Oh those Housewives ...

so I'm watching it on my tivo RIGHT NOW ...

So we open with Duhmona going all Duhmona on Bethandthecity ... wtf???? Seriously, Duhmona is a complete lunatic. I actually felt sorry for Bethandthecity. Duhmona doesn't even know what she's saying. She's as impulsive as a 3 year old. It was like "whew", there Alex and Simon! NEVER did I ever think I'd write those words.

And then there's yenta jill ... oy! Isn't it obvious that she's always been the homely girl in the group and she's dragging LuAnn down into her homely world and LuAnn loves it. Seriously, Jill is u-g-l-y you ain't got no alibi. She's acting like Ginger ... next, she'll start smelling like Ginger by the end of the seaons.

And I really feel bad for Bethandthecity. You have to admit, as ascerbic (acerbic?) as she is, she doesn't play games. She never says anything to get approval. Everything coming out of her mouth, she means. She did mean it when she told Jill to get a hobby. Her Dad is dying and she's completely screwed up over it. She's hanging by a thread and she has enough class not to throw it in everyone's faces. And what about Fangface? She should become a therapist! And I'll give props, their Cobble Hill place looks AMAZING! Much better than the liberace inspired hovel that Yenta Jill lives in.

And then back to Duhmona ... that piece of crap is the biggest crap stirrer on the show. She's the leaker, she wants Yenta Jill and Bethandthecity to fight like cats and dogs because she gets a rise out of it. And I forgot about last season when Yenta Jill AMBUSHED Bethandthe city with Kelly last season!!! So now Yenta Jill is not only a homely size FIVE, but she's also a flaming hypocrite!!!! And know what, if Bawbee had his frickin' "throat cut open from he-ah to he-ah", why would Bethandthecity want to talk to him??? I think that Yenta Jill was looking to dump Bethandthecity and she set her up to fail so she could act like a victim when the friendship was ov-ah.

Uh oh .. here comes Bethandthecity ... her dad wouldn't see her .. wow, that's heartbreaking. Doorbell ringing .. and then there's IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT ... you talkin' to me, you talkin' to me ... what, is she Travis Bickle now .. Bickle's voice is higher. What a twit. IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT is acting like a scorned little girl. OMG, there she is listening in the door. I don't know why Bethandthecity is even wasting her time. and then Duhmona lies about asking Bethandthecity to the apt??? And then IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT gets all pitbully in a tizzy and makes it all about her!

Bethandthecity, sweetie give it up. Don't waste your time. Yenta Jill's day of reckoning is nigh when IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT finds herself a new apartment and a new man. Then what ...

Friday, April 2, 2010

Oh those "housewives"

Yenta Jill: where to start. SHE'S HORRIBLE!!! Between her totally embarassing and stage mothering Ally and acting less mature than Ally when it comes to Bethandthecity ... oy!!! She's a lying sack of matzo who is acting like, for the first time in her life, that she's a popular girl. I think, by far, this show has gone to her head in the worst of ways. Seriously, she acts like she's the homely girl who just got asked to the prom by the star quarterback. Can't wait to see what happens when LuAnn finds herself a new marriage ... as long as Yenta Jill has a "project", she's like a freaking peacock prancing around full of self importance. She's managed to completely alienate herself from everyone on the show. Can't wait to see her downfall ... it's sad that she doesn't even realize what she's doing. And with her "choose who's side you're on" is going to really bite her in her in the a$$. How immature is she???

IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT: Did you see the look on her face when Victoria bluntly said that "papa has obviously moved on" ... !!!!!!!!!!! Wow! Victoria is awesome! She has more class than all these pathetic women put together! Hey, I have an idea! She needs a pied a terre? Since Bethandthecity is going to move in with JasonII, IAMSTILLACOUNTESSDAMMIT should move in!!! There, problem solved!

KellyHIEEEE!!!: Was Kelly Byeeeeeee! This week! She's such a twit! And yea, get a freaking haircut, or wear your hair in a ponytail, a headband!!!! Know what, I'd love to see it .. bet she would still try to move her hair out of her face. I feel bad for that reporter ... he's beneath the ex husband? I'm sorry, who is he again? The only reason I know his name is because of her. What about that weird guy she was fawning over at the bar? What about that guy who sued her for assault? Were they beneath Gilles Bensimon? Last I read, KellyHIEEEE, you were his THIRD WIFE and the old coot has since moved on 2 more times ... girly girl, get over yourself, he has.

Bethandthecity: I actually felt kinda sorry for her, for the first time! I don't know what else to say because that sentence renders me speechless!

PlanetAlex: Is she looking more and more like skelator or what??? Sweetie ... EAT!!!!! She is handling herself so well, though. She actually has good business sense and can cut through the irrelevant BS and right the ship. And ok ... did ANYONE ELSE NOTICE how close that guy in charge of Brooklyn fashion WEEKEND sat to Simon???? It was like 2 gay magnets. And I'm not saying that Simon is gay ... just saying that this guy was obviously attracted! I really hope that KellyHIEEEEE and Bethandthecity drop it already because those 2 would mop the floor with the 2 bitter old hags. We already know that PlanetAlex is going to give it to YentaJill ... I hope that Bethandthecity and KellyHIEEEE give it to her as well.

Duhmona: Ok ... you all do realize that it was HER that leaked the story to the Daily News right? She's a sanctimonious shew and man, give this woman a glass of pinot grigio and the EMOTIONS FLOI! She needs to step back and be happy that her Father gave her closure and made an effort to be a nice man to her. And how nice of SuperMario to make that happen! Duhmona needs to take her final visit with her father for what it was and be happy.

And then we have High Society ... sigh. As bitter and old haggy as the "housewives" are, these Mortimer Tinsley people, including her vapid mother, are like children! Can Mortimer Tinsley do anything for herself??? Is this the sure fire sign that you've made it? Having people pick out clothes for you? And this JPC is one pitiful mofo. I loved it when Tins literally called another stylist right in front of him and then the guy shows up and he has to see Tins gush! Note to JPC's mommy ... cut him off lady! Stop enabling this sorry excuse for a human being! And there's nothing to say about Jules Kirby. She's evil, ugly ugly evil.

Devorah Rose ... why? Sorry sweetie, you're going to lose your battle with Tinsley Mortimer. As immature as Tinsley is, she's in a much higher class than this homely boobie wannabe.

And the Middle actually made a lame attempt at trying to Hoosier it up by focusing on the final 4 in Indianapolis. Nice try, no cigar. I almost wish they could spin the show off for the kids only. They're the reason to watch. They need to have a show where one of the kids starts talking like someone from Southern Indiana and then maybe we can get some answers.

Modern Family, hands down, best sitcom on tv right now. Every single character, even the creepy vampire dad guy had some good chuckles and you had to feel sorry for him because of his birthday gone awry. Manny and Gloria .. chess huslters! awesome. And I just want to go up to Cameron and give him a big hug. Such a loveable character. I think this show needs a former librarian guest star!